Friday, October 31, 2014

Model Dreams....

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been enamored with the entire modeling scene. I was fascinated, almost intimidated by its glamour and pure beauty. I saw so much more than a photo of a pretty face, I saw sheer art. Great shots could send chills down my back or make me pause in awe. Models seemed to strike beautiful angles, manipulating the lighting and their bodies to develop a certain aura. As I grew up, I forced myself to shove that one childhood dream deep into me, because I felt as if I wasn't pretty enough or talented enough to fulfill it. The odd truth was, I was and am there, it was just my confidence and mindset that preventing me from reaching it. Modeling takes more then a pretty face. One has to be confident in herself and find peace in her own body before she can use it to create art. How could I have possibly subjected myself to stand in front of a camera if I didn't even possess the confidence to look at myself in the mirror? 

Now, at the young, yet not so young age of 15, I feel that childhood desire spark inside of me again. I think I can handle it this time. Subjecting myself to a world of beautiful people will not break my building self esteem. Modeling will teach me to love my body and all the different moods and scenes it can create instead of hating it for what it can't.

Who knows if I can fulfill this dream. But one day, I'm going to make it a point to at least try. I owe at least that to myself. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

High school...

I found this in my drafts from last year and thought I'd share it. Just a reminder that everyone has these underlying thoughts and sadness.

Growing up, we all heard about high school. We heard about the loads of homework and late nights, we heard about the stress and the tears, the steps forward and the falls back. We heard about the crazy competition, the ones that could power through and prosper through the pressure, and the ones that fell just a little short. It's crazy to know that these four years, in which we are still changing and hardly know ourselves and our beliefs, dictate the rest of our lives.